Thursday, February 24, 2011

Miss Cleo Says Hunter S Thomson Channeling Gadhafi

Renown psychic 'Miss Cleo,' of the Psychic Readers Network best remembered from the late 1990's and early 2000's, called a press conference today. "I know this sounds strange, but the ghost of Hunter S. Thompson has given me a vision," she stated. "I will tell you that Hunter wanted me to reach out and let everyone know, that since he could not be here on this earth to shoot that crazy Libyan, Moammar Gadhafi, he wanted to put words in his mouth to show the world what a fool he is."

A reporter interrupted her and shouted for her to prove that it was the late Hunter Thompson that was speaking to Gadhafi.

"Just listen to this," Miss Cleo stated as she read from a piece of paper: "From Reuters News Service: In a rambling appeal for calm, Gaddafi blamed the revolt on al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden, and said the protesters were fueled by milk and Nescafe spiked with hallucinogenic drugs. Now if that doesn't sound like Hunter S Thompson, I don't know who else it could be."

The Audience sat silently for a moment, until Harris from the Post pointed this out: "It could just be a coincidence?"

Miss Cleo looked out over the press room, lit a stick of incense, waved the smoking stick in the air leaving blue-gray streak in its wake, then stated: "Here is one more quote from Gadhafi: Their ages are 17. They give them pills at night, they put hallucinatory pills in their drinks, their milk, their coffee, their Nescafe. Shall I continue?"

Little known, friend of Thompson and cartoonist Ralph Steadman was in the room. He leisurely drew cartoons on a large pad when he jumped up and screamed a question at Miss Cleo: "Hunter owes me a hundred bucks. If you're so good at this Miss Cleo, ask him where he left a spare hundred that I could certainly use right now."

Miss Cleo frantically waved the incense stick in the air. A sound like she passed gas was evident to most of the room as she instantly produced a deck of cards and tossed a number of them on the podium. She looked at the cards and said:

"Fuck you Ralph, we both snorted that hundred and I don't owe you squat."

Steadman stood and announced that it was really Hunter S Thompson and he'd stand behind Miss Cleo's words, but not behind her.

Tags Gadhafi, Gaddafi, Libya, Hunter S Thompson, Ralph Steadman, Miss Cleo, Psychic Reading, Libya revolution

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