Mubarek: "I was going to change things in April."

Egypt's President, Hosni Mubarak, stated that the demonstrations facing his country and calling for his ouster are just premature. "I was planning on changing our government to the exact wishes of my many detractors in April. It was going to be a surprise. Now, with all this protesting, we will first have to calm the country and get it back in order. You are probably looking at next year now," Mubark stated to World News Tonight. When asked why it took him 30 years to enact changes, he stated: "These things take time."

"Me too", deposed President Zine El Abidine Ben Al, formerly of Tunisia said, upon hearing the words of Mubarak.. "I was on the verge of changing the whole way our government worked, giving much more power to the people...and now this. They'll have to figure it out for themselves now," Zin El Abidine stated. When asked why it took 24 years to figure out a better system for the people of his country, he stated: "These things take time."

Rumors of protests in Yemen against the government are over-reaching. Most Yemen citizens can not see what in Yemen is worth overthrowing. The Yemeni Socialist Party Opposition group has been calling for 40 acres and a camel for each family willing to work the sand, however, no water or infrastructure is available to plot holders. We will be keeping a close eye on this breaking news.