Monday, September 10, 2012

What I really want to hear from the Candidates:

Make a commitment to send them to jail...

We've all been listening to Mitt Romney and Barack Obama talk about stuff that quite frankly, is unimportant compared to the pressing issues facing American's today: Telemarketing Phone Calls.

It's time to face facts, the Do Not Call List  DOES NOT WORK. I remember the halcyon days when as a family we sat down to dinner and invariably the phone would ring from a telemarketer. There were two things so very different than today.

1: Whoever was on the phone trying to sell you something, spoke English, clearly and convincingly, such as "Sir, if you do not get our whole house water purification system, don't be surprised if you wife becomes frigid. It's a proven fact that when children drink non-purified water during their formative years, IQ's drop to that of Neanderthals and they may develop large occipital crests, marry overweight and smelly..."

 And 2: "Hold on," You would cut in.  "Don't call me again. I am on the Do Not Call List."

All you had to do was mention that. You could hear the person on the other end of the phone line tremble with fear.

"I'm sorry sir, I didn't know. I will remove you from our list immediately and you won't be bothered again."

In today's world though, it is much different.


"Hello dear kind sir. I am wanting to know if your credit card interest rate is can be lowered by just giving me information some of..."

"Wait a minute," you intercede. "Who are you?"

"I am from that most noble of American Large Debt Consolidation Firms using the American Bank of Dewville Delaware to help people. We..."

"Who? Dewville Delaware?"

"Yes, are headquarters are in Delaware, close to the US Treasury funding your debt with new debt can happen in an instant we can. Now, all I need is your Social Security number..."

"Who are you really?"

"Kind dear sir, I am with American Bank of Dewville Del...."

"I'm on the Do Not Call List and I would suggest you take my name off of your list before I report you to them."

"Let me tell you, money you can about how much save, using our."

At this point, normally you hang up and start thinking about the Do Not Call List and the fact that your dinner is now cold. You look at your children's eye, no occipital crests.  But the phone rings again, just moments after hanging up. You pick it up.


"Hello dear kind sir. I am wanting to know if your credit card interest rate is can be lowered by just giving me information some of..."

As far as I'm concerned, a well placed cruise missle is completely justifiable no matter what country  the callers are located in. I want my President to do this for me.

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