So you are probably staring at this and thinking to yourself: "Why do I give a rats ass about what this jerk did yesterday. I came here to be entertained, so put up or shut up."
Do I have that right? You want to be entertained? Pet stories are always entertaining or so fu--ing tedious,you just want to claw your eyes out of your head and toss them down the garbage disposal. So I've got this cat...well not really my cat. A stray, which is the way I think most cats come to being. If you ever wanted to believe in that crazy Christian belief of Creationism, just look to cats. All seem to have just appeared. Never was a cat planned, they just appear. One day they are walking by the back door, the next day you seem to be feeding them. I know, "they'll keep mice and rats away," or so you tell yourself, to justify buying stinky food for this freeloader. Until the freakin' mice are eating the leftovers out of its dish and you realize that he's been hanging two doors down getting better food and giving his to the mice.
Anyway, where was I, so then cats start bringing their friends over and the next thing you know, they are drinking and fighting. The fights sound terrible, and you get brooms and chase cats away from under the windows. Then it dawns on you, what a sucker. He's got you pegged. What a sucker.